Let’s give Chairman Reince Priebus a new name!

by Nick on March 17, 2011

Dear Reince (can I call you Reincey, or the Reincester?)

Hey, how’re you doing?  I wanted to write you a letter since you keep sending ones to me in the mail that I’m supposed to fill out and mail back to you with a check or something?  Anyways, I didn’t want to be rude – but I’m not a Republican, and I don’t agree with you that Obama should be executed (in fact I voted for him and I’m not for executing our elected officials, clip)… and also I’m a hard-working guy and I don’t have any money to send to the Republican National Committee cause of this whole inflation thing.  Rudolph the red-nosed Reince-deer, did you know that it now costs me almost $40 to fill up my little Mazda?  One of the other reasons why I’m so broke is because I just recently had to purchase a baby name book – no, I’m not planning on having a baby anytime soon, but I needed to try to find some name suggestions to give you and they don’t make adult name books (at least not that I could find).  Please read on…

See, I know this might sound inconvenient, but I need to ask you to please change your last name.  It sounds too close to mine & I have noticed a lot of people thinking we’re related since Priebus is very close in pronunciation to my last name, Prevas – we’re not related, I keep telling people that we’re not related & they say, “boy, he should change his name then,” and frankly I agree.  You can keep the Reince, I kind of like that because it sounds sort of daring, like a character Tom Cruise might play in an action movie – Reince Hunt, or maybe just the name he would give an adopted baby from China… Reince Cruise… has a nice ring to it.  Keep the Reince, lose the Priebus.

Alas, the baby name book I bought has no suggestions for last names… SO, I’m going to open up the COMMENTS section of this post to suggestions for new last names for Mr. Reince “P.” (we’ll just call you “P.” until we find a better last name for you) – please readers: leave a COMMENT on this post with some suggestions for a new last name for my old buddy Reincey.  Some ideas to start you off friends:

Reince Aroni (the San Francisco treat!)
Reince Toyota-Prius (you could tell people your Dad was Mr. Toyota & your Mom’s last name inspired the awesome Prius!)
Reince Free-Bus (everyone loves free public transportation!)
Reince Twice-Three-Times-A-Lady (might be a bit long for your name tag, but a great song nonetheless!)
Reince Pants-Less (I don’t know your preference for pants, but you look like a guy who could take ‘em or leave ‘em!)

That’s all I got for now – who can help me out please, let’s get old P-man a new name, and pronto!

Thanks for understanding Reince – you’re a swell guy and even though I didn’t vote for you, I think you’re going to do a great job banging that big hammer!

UPDATE!

3/18/11: Friends! We’ve successfully created a twitter hashtag for you to suggest new names for RNC Chairman Reince Priebus. Search for #ReincePriebusNames on Twitter, & add that hashtag to your own tweets with new name ideas for old Reincey boy. I’m counting on you! Let’s rename this guy- Yes You Can!

 

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